Elementary, Watson?

So recently I've started watching CBS new show Elementary, and I find I simply cannot but help being drawn into the inevitable Sherlockian comparison. It is the truth of the human condition that we make absolutely everything and anything into a competition. There is absolutely no way that theses two shows should not be compared, contrasted and dissected into microscopic detail to determine which one is 'the real one'. Anyone who tries to say otherwise needs to have a healthy dose of reality knocked into them, preferably with a large stick.

Having had nothing better to do with my time than to peruse the various screaming matches on the fansites (pff who needs to get a degree?), the crux of the argument seems to be 'Ah sure, we'll give the (new) new one a chance'. Very reasonable.

And yeah, I've watched it so far. It's alright. Very American. And I mean that in a nice way. Personally I've always been fond of Jonny Lee Miller since realising it was him in Trainspotting (don't watch if you're in anyway squeamish, or easily offended, or get upset at the thought of gastroenteritis or dead babies). But, yeah, fantastic actor. And at least they had the good sense to leave him British, because it just would not have worked any other way. But then you sit down to watch Benedict Cumberbatch do his thing with his collar and his cheekbones. And you know your heart has already made it's choice.

There is of course the point that Moffat and Gatiss are not the only ones allowed to make a new adaption, and it is true that it is hard to say that it is their own idea....except for the fact that the Sherlock writers were approached, and turned down the offer to have a hand in the new adaptation...only to have an announcement not long after that Sherlock Holmes was going to the US.... eyebrows were raised and snarky comments made *coughmarkgatisscough*

Of course the decision to cast a hot asian woman to play the traditionally very much male war veteran Doctor John Watson has obviously provoked a... reaction. The bromance between Holmes and Watson, which is done disgustingly well in Sherlock, is without a doubt one of my favorite parts of the whole shebacle. It's guy love between two guys. And even though Lucy Liu is grand, and the genderswap seems to be the only original idea the CBS led with, it does call into question whether or not it was merely done just to avoid the awks of of any homoeroticism on what is very probably going to be quite a widespread show. Though I've read that they have no plans to turn it into a romantic relationship in Elementary, you can't help but wonder. And seeing as they recently revealed that Holmes most consistent love interest, Irene Adler, has already shuffled off this mortal coil (which after being utterly mesmirised by Lara Pulver's portrayal as the semi villainous, superawesome Woman, I was not a happy camper. At all). So with no prospect of The Woman any time in the future (unless they pull off a 'hey your girlfriends not dead, you were hooked on drugs for no reason' twist), we're faced with the inevitability of the aforementioned hot Asian chick becoming the only viable option.

This woman is a bamf.

And Moriarty. Oh Moriarty. Andrew Scott has ruined you for all other actors. The sharp dressing, subtly camp, psychotic beast, he's the sort of villain you were secretly cheering for. It will be nigh impossible to beat that. And we all know it.

he is not amused

I've read in an interview Stephen Moffat subtly dissing it  "I don't want it to sound like Mark [Gatiss] and I don't want other people to try this. We welcome it, but don't damage the brand,"

which could be read as petty but the guy has a point. Sherlock Holmes is awesome. He has to be to have lasted this long. Therefore adaptations need to be worthy of his legacy. Sherlock is. It's got the perfect combination of heroics, humour, intricate plotlines, intriguing characters and Martin Freeman in jumpers. And from what I've seen of Elementary... it's okay. Not bad. Of course, when dealing with this level of popularity, and the amount of prejudice it has for daring to encroach on Sherlock's 'territory'.... I don't think it's enough. Elementary seems more of a generic crime drama, following a basic and rather predictable fomula each week, rather than anything distinctly Holmsian. If the names of the characters were different, I don't think anyone would be able to detect any elements of Conan Doyles original works.

So I think my main point is... Sherlock is amazing. Everything about Sherlock is amazing. The only possible flaw is that the series are too damn short. So Elementary, you're gonna have to raise your game quite a bit, because season 3 is coming, and you need to be ready when it does.


                                                  

A sequel of sorts

Well.

Hello again.

Since this thing seems to have been read by someone (thanks to a certain blond, nerdy lesbian unionist that we all know and tolerate (the whore)) I suppose an update is in order.

So here it is.

Well obviously, you're reading it.

Moving on!

I have some tragic news for you all. Yes, the other fish has recently passed on. Circumstances are similar to the other one, though pro biotic poison does not seem to have played a part in Sherlock's (possibly) untimely demise. He's swimming with the angels now, his little fishy soul, swimming into the aquatic abyss

*Moments Silence*

Goodnight sweet prince, and may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest.

On the subjects of pets popping their clogs, I find myself looking back on my own furry (and non furry) familiars over the years. I find myself thinking that either I'm a terrible owner, or I always pick bad ones.

Let me take you back now, to my first ever proper pet (I say proper, as I cant remember anything before that, apart from some goldfish called Flotsam and Jetsum, and lets face it, Ive exhausted the fishy material)

But anyway, my first pet was a snow white rabbit that I called, in my all my four year old charm, Snuggles (Stop snickering, I was only little). Snuggles was adorable, everything you wanted in a pet, small, quiet, didn't require to much attention and cute to look at. And pregnant at the time of purchase, as it turned out. Yes, shortly after we got her, and after she maimed me by biting my finger I might add (a grievous injury to a four old), she popped out, if memory serves, seven kittens, which she went on to kill, including my own personal favourite, Jumpy (wipe that smirk off your face right now)
Not too long after her wiping out her offspring, she disappeared for a day or two. Having drawn the conclusion she had escaped and was now probably a menace to the woodland world, we were much surprised when she was suddenly outside the back door, barbed wire around her fluffy white neck.
Twas rather strange and scarring.

Moving on! (again)

A large dog, and three cats (one of which we still have) later, I had since moved from Enniscorthy out to Kiltealy, into a lime green mobile home (which you should not talk to me about ever) to my current home.

A...certain length of time after I moved in here, we got two terrapins and named them Darcy and Yoda (I was in the middle of my Pride and Prejudice phase, it was awesome, you start using words like amiable and advantageous in regular conversation). If you're thinking of getting terrapins, don't. They do fuck all all day and cost a fortune to keep. They're nice to look at for about ten minutes, then you get bored and wish you had bought a DS or something. Not unfortunately they died soon after, in what seemed to be simultaneous suicide.

Luckily for me (I didn't poison them I swear), this resulted in an empty tank, suitable for a reptile of some description. Having had been whining to my parents for the last ages to get me a snake, they now had no more excuses, other than my mothers Heebie Jeebies.

So on my fifteenth birthday, I got a small coral called Zafrina (I was in the middle of my Breaking Dawn phase, mock me later) I instantly knew we would hit it off in the pet shop, when my brother picked her up and she peed on him.

Then once again, tragedy struck, on Mothers Days, a mere three months after I got her, I came home from a day out at the garden centre (that is what one does on Mothers Day, despite the size of ones garden), to find her coiled an stiff, her once vibrant colour faded, due to her sudden, violent and irreversible cessation of life.

*Another moments silence*

She is buried beneath my favourite tree in the garden, a large sycamore with red leaves and easy to climb. She is and will always be sorely missed.

One might draw the conclusion that I think pets should be avoided altogether, but to the contrary, I find nothing more rewarding than caring and nurturing something, and having it repay you  by pissing on your brother.

I leave you with this wisdom

Good luck

Who needs fish anyway?

Well. Kids birthdays. Yeah.

Today was my cousins second birthday. And as is the custom, there was a small party to celebrate. Screaming toddlers galore

Deciding her gift was a bit tricky. Seeing as she's one of those kids who has everything, it was a bit of a conundrum. But, after having a bit of a think, I had a stroke of genius, and told my mother that we should get her some goldfish. My mother was impressed. I have to admit to a smug pat on the back to myself.

So in we went, we picked out two fish, one a rather violent orange, the other black with bulging eyes. We even got a tank with a pink lid.

So we brought them home, let them out, and fed them. So far, things were going well.

Then the first blow. My other cousin, Bobby, nearly two himself, in his childlike exuberance, continually kept trying to catch them. But this was not the worst part, oh no. In the, oh about 40 seconds, no one was watching him, the child got  an Actimel, saw the fish, and.... yes. He poured the whole fecking thing in. Luckily, we managed to get them out before any serious damage was done. Or so we hoped.

Then, B day. By this stage I had named the fish Sherlock and Watson (which was later changed to Mickey and Minne, to my dismay) Before we left, I poured some water out, so I wouldn't get drenched in the car (I had to pour more out when we stopped, my mams cardigan will never be worn again, as I put it beneath the bowl in a vain attempt to keep my jeans dry.

So we left, me in the backseat, holding the bowl precariously on my knee, trying to prevent the water from splashing everywhere, the amount of fecking potholes in the road making it utterly impossible. Somehow, the water even made it to the front seat. How, I have no idea.

But alas! We made it to my uncles house (relatively) dry, and fish still swimming around happily (Do fish feel happiness?)

Needless to say, my cousin was delighted with her gift, and spent a monumental thirty seconds admiring them, before running out to the bouncy castle in the backyard (I have to admit, it was a pretty big bouncy castle) The adults were equally impressed with them. Who knew fish could be so popular.

So the party went on, with rice crispie buns, marshmallows, and an indeterminate amount of toddlers running around the place. The cake was cut, 'Happy Birthday' was sung badly, and the birthday girl was blinded by flashes.

Then, tragedy struck. Actual tragedy. I moved over, to admire our gift once more, as we were leaving shortly, and saw something....odd, with the orange one. It was completely still, not the slightest movement of it fins, its mouth wide open in an expression that was fecking creepy. I tapped the bowl. I tapped it again. I tried shifting it, so it would move. Nothing happened.

"Oh balls" I said. At this stage, my uncle came over,  took one look at my shocked face, and at the tank.

"Ah Jaysus" he cried loudly " Mia your fish are dead"

I smacked my hand to my forehead and told him to shut up. Then I told my mother of the sudden bereavement. She seemed to think we could return it.

We left soon after, lestr, God forbid, the other one popped its clogs.

Cause of death remains unknown. Pro-biotic poisoning, travel sickness and bad luck remain the most likely candidates.

But who knows, maybe it was lupus?